When I was a kid, I assumed that cooking things on high heat was the best, because higher heat = faster, right? Well, sort of, if you like things tough and burned. My scrambled eggs were diner-style curds that bit back when you took a bite. This method (with low heat and high butter & time commitment) is way better, unless you’re one of those wimps who can’t handle runny eggs. Get thee back!

Anyway, the basic method is kind of like Gordon Ramsay’s but not in a pot because the eggs always get stuck. It’s a lot of stirring and waiting and patience and lipid matter, but see above re: butter & time.

Put a non-stick skillet over medium-low heat and melt the butter. Beat two eggs in a small bowl until relatively uniform & sprinkle in some salt. When the skillet is warm (but not too hot!) dump in the eggs and immediately begin to stir with the spatula. The idea is get them coagulating slowly, making almost imperceptible curds that gradually amass into a custard-like scrambled egg. Stir constantly for about ten minutes, or until they’re done to your liking, but be warned: if it looks done in the pan, it will be overdone on the plate (something about residual heat? Carryover? Clearly I have never taken thermodynamics). So tip them out when they’re just shy of ideal firmitude.

Takes time, but it’s Sunday, and it sure beats packing for break.